Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
