Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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