The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
