I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
