I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
