I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
