How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
