This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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