my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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