so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
