can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
