Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
