Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
