Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you will always have a special place in my vag
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
