You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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