it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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