she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
