Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
