I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
