she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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