Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When are your genitals available?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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