Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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