This girl is more easily done than said...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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