It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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