hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
