I wanna bring you to show and tell
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
