The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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