You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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