My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
