would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
A bitchslap is in order.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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