Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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