May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
