i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
