i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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