She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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