She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
