Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
