the condom got lost in my hair
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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