my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
