Please, let me fuck your mom
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
