ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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