it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Randomize
