The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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