Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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