I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
