I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she smelled like a LAN party
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
