did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
