Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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