i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I will pee on everything he values.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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