I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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