Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
