"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
pray to the hookup gods
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
