you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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