; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
